Cold showers, cold meals, sleepless nights, and the same outfit worn for days in a row. Sounds like a rough life, right? Makes you wonder what would be worth all those tough moments. One word, motherhood.
Being a mother is not an easy job by any means, but it is by far the most rewarding adventure of life. When I hear that deep belly laugh of a child, my heart melts and butterflies fill my stomach. I cannot help but to laugh and smile ear to ear.
We do everything we can to nurture our babies and protect them from anything that comes their way. Sometimes, that means protecting them from ourselves. Tempers and emotions are among the most difficult things to control, as they are deeply integrated parts of our very being. After those sleepless nights and long days of resistance, our patience runs thin and our fuses short. We scream, yell, and threaten trying to gain compliance. Sometimes it works, but most days it is futile and just leaves everyone feeling awful.
No one likes yelling at or disciplining their children. It is emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausting for everyone. How can we do better? How can we be better for them, and ourselves? Not everyone was born with the virtue of patience, so preaching "be patient" is not practical, nor realistic. So, what are our options? This is not an easy answer, as every mom and child is different.
For myself, I take the time to really learn and understand my children, which is not easy as their personalities grow and evolve as they get older. What may work one day could be catastrophic the next. Therefore, I pay attention to their moods. Knowing what their triggers are per mood makes it easier to respond, not easy but easier.
Some children do not respond to or learn from the traditional punishments such as spankings and time outs. This just excentuates the frustration on those already tough days. Sometimes we need to be creative with your discipline and think outside of the box.
For example, if it is late at night and your little ones are climbing the walls, make them do excercises. One that seems to work well is doing flights of stairs X amount of times. It expends that excess energy and provides physical exercise. Plus, who really likes doing stairs? It then becomes an easy and effective deterrent. The worse the behavior, the more flights they incur.
The same concept applies to rewards, as our children need to know we appreciate the good behaviors. There is a fine line between rewarding and spoiling, so it is good to tread lightly. That said, recognition does not always need to come with a prize. It can be as simple as a thank you or good job. Just letting them know you are proud of their good actions can go a long way. All they want is our attention and approval, so let us give it to them when they do something positive, no matter how small it may seem.
Appreciate and cherish the small things and those rare moments where they are exceptionally sweet. They are growing so fast, so do not let their lives pass you by.
In the end, you know what is best for your children. No one can, nor should, tell you how to raise them. It is no one else's business but yours. Further, what may work for one mom may not for you or me. Knowing your kids as deeply as you can is the best way to help them become outstanding humans.
Hang in there, mama. The tough times are temporary, but they can be so very rewarding. Love deeply on those days they do not listen. It will make the good days absolutely heart warming and a reminder of why you love being a mom.
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